Are You Enough?
What does enough mean?
Are you enough?
Am I enough?
What is enough?
All I hear these days is “I am enough”. It is a mantra that we are supposed to tell ourselves to make us feel better, and for many people it does, so I do not want to belittle the power behind this movement, but I want to question – is this enough?
The Cambridge dictionary definition of enough is:
“determiner, pronoun and adverb
1. as much as is necessary; in the amount or to the degree needed:
2. as much as or more than is wanted:
So why do I have so much trouble accepting this mantra? After all, the second definition states that it is “as much as, or more than is wanted”…
By telling myself I am enough I am supposed to be telling myself that I don’t need to strive to be better looking, I should accept myself as I am. I am telling myself that I don’t need to learn more, I have the knowledge I need. I am telling myself that I am comfortable in my space, I am safe. Am I buying into mediocracy?
If you do a google search on “I am enough” you will find countless blogs, YouTube videos, Ted Talks, memes and other posts all about this. The thing that I have noticed about these posts is the common theme for all of these is a lack of self-esteem, a lack of self-confidence and a perception of judgement.
If I keep telling myself that I am enough, will this change any of these things? Will I see myself in a different way? Will I suddenly find myself able to perform, or feel like I deserve something?
It is easy to buy into inadequacy.
Why do we let other people’s ideas and perceptions affect us? Because it is easy, it is to go with the flow, and fit in to what is generally thought. It is easy to say “No one loves me because my butt is too big” or, “No one will buy my product because I don’t have great teeth”, or “I won’t succeed in business because I don’t understand Facebook ads”. And it is easy to stop there.
It is easier to say all of these things to ourselves and stop there. To not look for someone that loves you because you have a big butt, to not try and sell, to give up because of one social media platform.
Self-Esteem and Self-confidence
I don’t think we need to tell ourselves that we are enough. We need to have faith in who we are.
I have faith that I am capable of doing something, or putting something out into the world. I have faith that I will try to be more than I am today, and by trying I might fail – but that is okay. I have faith that in my failure I will learn something I didn’t know yesterday. I have faith that this will make it easier to try again tomorrow.
But how do I gain that faith?
I work at it. I work at building my self esteem and my self-confidence. I work at it every day.
The 4 Steps:
1. Self-Love and Compassion. We need to look after ourselves for ourselves. How you love yourself is how you teach other people to love you. Do something every day that nourishes your soul and your body. Sit outside in the sunshine for 5 minutes and think of your dreams, not your children’s, partner’s or business’, just yours. Give yourself a manicure, soak in a tub, go for a hike – anything that lifts your spirits. Wear your favourite dress today just because it makes you feel like a million dollars. Take time for you.
2. Have compassion for others – surround yourself with people that support you, and in return support them. Encourage them, don’t knock them down. Buy letting them grow and learn and expand it can inspire you, allow that to happen. Forgive those that don’t support you – remember they too have doubts and their own inadequacies.
3. Work on your self-confidence – it is a process, not an event. It will take time. To compare yourself to others is a natural instinct, it is how we learn as we grow, but how we compare speaks volumes about our characters. The language we use towards ourselves is a reflection of what we have learnt – negative self-talk is learnt, and it can be unlearnt. Self confidence starts with the way you talk to yourself.
4. Self-Worth. Believe that an investment in yourself it worth it – every penny spent and every second taken for you is worth it.
I don’t think the words “I am enough” are enough. I think we should be using the words: